When it feels like too much to carry...

Overwhelmed.

Tired.

Weary.

Discouraged. 

Feeling like I am spinning my wheels.

This has been me lately. 

A four year old with an attitude who has decided that sleeping at night is not really that fun.  An 18 month old who likes to nurse a few times at night, often clamping down when she is finished.  A house that really needs a deep clean.  Noisy kids that don't allow me to get a word in with my husband.  Another meal needing to be planned, prepared or cleaned up after.  You get the idea. 

Things could be so much harder, I know.  But without a real break or real night of sleep in months (18 possibly) I have felt like my patience is wearing thin, my fuse is getting short and my joy is faded.

Then my hope was restored.

Today I was listening to a service from an awesome church in LA, Expression 58.  Shawn Bolz, the pastor, was sharing a testimony about a business person who gave the management of her business over to the Holy Spirit.  Immediately I realized that is what I had to do.  I know that God alone holds the wisdom I need for every decision I make in life- parenting, household managing and being a wife, friend, and daughter.  So right then I prayed and asked Him to have my life fully and to give me the wisdom I need for my children, my home and my marriage.

What freedom I immediately felt!  Hope and joy returned because I am confident that God is able and willing to help me in all things.  Tonight as I was bathing that sleepy 4 year old it was like time stood still as I looked into her eyes and realized I had the perfect opportunity to pray over her as I shampooed and conditioned her hair.  Instead of feeling resentful at how fussy she has been lately I saw my unique position in her life as her mom to be able to speak a blessing over her and call forth the good things that God destined her for. 

It was powerful and I know it was His leading me. I am confident that if I look to Him and listen for Him, His grace will take me to new places of breakthrough in all that concerns me.

If you are feeling run down, overwhelmed and frustrated I encourage you to do this too.  Give the Holy Spirit your parenting, your home managing, your marriage, your career.  Ask Him to show you how to do things and to impart His perfect wisdom for your situation.  You will be amazed at how much He cares!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)

Until recently I always thought about verse 30 pertaining to oxen and didn't really get it.  I heard someone say it is like a person who is carrying two water jugs with a yolk or beam across their shoulders that balances the weights.  By dispersing the load it is easier to carry more weight.  His yolk is easy and His burden light; He makes it easier for us and lightens our load.  He promises that if we will come to Him with our burden He will give us rest!  Thank you Jesus for your rest and for lightening my load!

Home Education for Preschoolers

Little ones are like sponges!  I am constantly amazed at what my two year old daughter retains, often after only hearing or seeing something once!  She is eager to learn and I want to take full advantage of this time and not miss a precious opportunity to teach her about God, about creation and about life. 

I was inspired by reading about what other moms are doing with their preschoolers but didn't want to pay for a curriculum just yet.  I also wanted to have the flexibility to come up with my own plan and not feel like I needed to adhere to someone else's lesson plan.  I wanted the teaching to center around God and give Him credit for all He has made.  I came up with five categories that I wanted to teach Audrey more about:

• God Made Animals
• God Made Plants
• God Made Our Bodies
• God Made Our Earth
• God Made Our Day

Some categories will take longer to cover while others will be only a week or two.  Under each category I came up with subcategories and we will cover one each week.  For each subcategory I make a list of crafts to do together, books we own to read, themes to discuss, field trip ideas and also music or videos to listen to or watch.  We also go to the library each week and pick up quite a few books that correspond with the topics we are learning about.  I try to find a few titles that are educational and a few that are just fun or fiction.  I want this to create a love of reading and learning and not feel like work at all.  I am also giving myself lots of grace- if one week is too hectic to take on a new category we will just put it off a week and maybe continue to review last week's theme.

The Internet has been such a help in coming up with ideas!  I search Google Images for line drawings that can be traced for coloring pages.  There are so many websites offering preschool craft ideas.  When I am feeling not so creative these have been really helpful!  I look for videos on Youtube that would be educational (always preview first!).  There are all kinds of sites like the National Wildlife Federation that offer tools for teaching children.  Whenever I come across something useful I save it to a special folder in my favorites so I know right where it is when I need to refer back to it.

I find that the hands on learning experiences are the most fun and memorable.  Making a craft together, going to a farm or even a trip to the pet store will make such an impression on a little one!  It really doesn't take much to engage your child and make learning so fun.

So far our home education has been such a treat for both of us!  Now every day Audrey asks when we are going to do our craft.  I know I will look back and be so glad I was intentional about teaching her things and spending quality time with her!

Teaching Our Children to Look to God

What is your child's first response when something isn't right?  When an illness causes discomfort, when a fear comes up, when something is out of our control?  And more importantly, what is your first response in these situations?  I wish I could say that mine is always to turn to God in prayer.  It often is, but not every time.  I have tried to teach Audrey to think this way, to look to God when she is in need, and it seems to have worked. 

A few weeks ago we were on our way home from church and I casually mentioned having a headache.  Immediately the response from the back seat was, "Mommy!  I want to pray for you!"  After chewing up her snack, Audrey held my hand and prayed a sweet and simple prayer for my head to "not feel bad."  I was so blessed by her quick and correct response to my need.  We have taught her that Jesus heals and I love seeing her child like faith in action.  I am so thankful that the good things we have sown into her are taking root and bearing good fruit.  I feel like I fall so short so often and it is times like these that I feel such encouragement to press on. 

I have seen God's faithfulness all throughout my life.  I know that God still heals based on His Word, but also because of personal experience.  My little sister was born blind.  Her optic nerves had not developed and she was completely unable to see.  My mom took her to three different doctors and they all gave the same diagnosis.  They all said there was nothing that could be done, no hope of her receiving her sight.  My mom refused to accept that her child would never see so my parents took her to be anointed and prayed for at our church (based on James 5: 14 and 15).  The following evening they observed for the first time, Lauren following a moving object with her eyes.  She was completely healed and now doesn't even wear glasses.  This testimony has been such a powerful force in my life.  Even in times when I strayed from God, I always knew that He is real and that He cares about me.  I want my children to grow up with that same sense of God's love and power.

Children are never too young to learn about God and to hear about His love and faithfulness.  They are little sponges, thirsty to suck up anything we put before them.  We must be so diligent to seek out good things that nurture faith and godly character in our little ones!  Spending time reading Christian children's books together, listening to worship music or scripture put to song, and patiently explaining who God is to our children really pays dividends.  Our favorite books to read together right now are two that I had as a child and remember enjoying the rich detail in the illustrations.  They are Big Thoughts for Little People and Giant Steps for Little People.  Both are available through Amazon and teach biblical truths and godly character.  We are also enjoying listening to God's Word from A to Z by Abe and Liza Philip and also the Seeds Family Worship music.  Both are available through the Itunes Store and make scripture memory so easy.

"I really need to nurse, Mama!"

Marguerite Gerard, The Breastfeeding Mother

While rocking my daughter this afternoon before her nap she hit me with, "I really need to nurse, Mama!"  It struck me as funny considering most people don't even consider nursing into toddlerhood, when a child can express themselves so clearly!  Yes, I am still nursing my 2 year old.  Nursing a two year old is so different from nursing a baby! She no longer nestles comfortably in my arms but rather lays across my lap or beside me in bed. She is not still for long but it is nice that I can now tell her how to adjust her latch when it gets uncomfortable.

Nursing while pregnant has created some changes to our nursing relationship, mostly the tenderness I have been experiencing and also the decrease in milk production.  But I am so glad to still have those special moments of closeness with her.  She is so very independent now and our occasional nursing times together are special.  Some days she is distracted and forgets to nurse all day and others she "needs" to nurse quite a few times.  I am thankful to be able to comfort her in this way and knowing that my milk is still a source of excellent nutrition is a plus. 

When I first found out I was pregnant with baby number two, I made a list of things to do to get Audrey ready for this next phase of life.  At the top of the list was weaning and potty training.  I have since put that list aside.  I no longer have the desire to wean.  Who knows what her nursing will look like 4 months from now, that is if she is even still interested in nursing.  Children change so quickly!  I just want to go with the flow and offer her what she needs from me at each stage of life. I don't want to miss out on something special just because it isn't a cultural norm.

I don't know any other moms who have nursed their children well into the third year of life (I am certain they are out there!).  I know extended breastfeeding is not for everyone, but I wish our culture would embrace breastfeeding as an important part of childhood.  I think the nursing relationship between mother and child should not be limited to a given period of time but rather allowed to persist as long as mother and baby are benefiting.  Not everyone has success with breastfeeding and not everyone's lifestyle would allow for extended breastfeeding, but for those who are able it can be such a blessing!  It saddens me to see how convenience oriented our society has become.  Aren't our children worth going the extra mile and giving them access to such a perfect food for as long as they would like it?

Preparing for Childbirth

With baby #2 on the way I have been thinking a lot lately about gearing up for my next birth.  What a blessing children are and I am overwhelmed with God's goodness to us as I look at my precious daughter and picture this next baby coming into our lives!  Being pregnant is not always easy and certainly labor and delivery is challenging, but children are so very worth it! 

I had a (mostly) wonderful birth experience with my daughter just over two years ago.  My husband and I took Bradley classes and were so glad we did.  I felt so prepared and excited about what her birth would be like.  I was not afraid but rather confident in my body's God designed ability to produce, grow and birth new life.  I would have loved a home birth, but the need to be on blood thinning medication (Lovenox) made the hospital my only option.  The Bradley classes gave me the knowledge I needed to come up with a birth plan for the hospital setting. 

I started contracting three weeks before Audrey was born.  Sometimes they were strong contractions but mostly mild ones.  I was around 4 cm when I went into "active" labor and Audrey arrived five hours later!  With the threat of induction hanging over me, I took a long walk, ate almost an entire pineapple and then double pumped for 45 minutes!  I think I overdid it a little as labor came on fast and strong.  (I would not recommend the 45 minutes of pumping!)  I stayed home for the first 3 hours and labored mostly in the bath.  The warm water was so comforting and I enjoyed being alone while my husband packed the bag.  At the hospital I was coached and comforted by my husband, sister (who is a midwife) and my mom.  Other than wanting to induce me, my doctor was supportive of my choice of a natural birth.  Each contraction was so painful but I knew that they had a purpose.  I was not suffering but rather working hard to bring my baby into the seen world.  I knew that with each passing contraction, that was one less separating me from my baby.  I took them one at a time and relaxed as much a possible.  It was amazing! 

Everything went so well until Audrey was almost out and they realized she had aspirated meconium.  They feared that this could lead to pneumonia and she was taken to the NICU after only moments in my arms.  I kept waiting for the nurses to bring her back.  I had no idea that she would be in intensive care for 4 and 1/2 long days.  During that time my birth plan was completely ignored.  They administered eye ointment, gave her formula and a paci dipped in sugar water.  They didn't allow me to nurse her for 2 days.  This was all a very difficult end to an empowering birth.  My heart goes out to parents whose precious children stay in the NICU for much longer than our daughter did.  In retrospect we were so blessed but at the time it was grueling.  Our prayers were answered and she did not have pneumonia.  We were able to take her home on the 5th day.  What a joyful time that was!  She was finally ours!

Birth is unpredictable and no one is exactly alike.  It certainly helps to be prepared though.  I highly recommend the Bradley Method of Husband-Coached Childbirth!  After 12 weeks of class once a week you are armed with the knowledge and skills you need to welcome your baby into the world the safest way possible.  You learn how to have the healthiest pregnancy possible through proper nutrition and exercise.  When you remain low risk you have options during labor and birth.  My Bradley teacher also prepared us for breastfeeding by explaining what to expect and teaching proper latching.  She was available to answer questions both during pregnancy and after birth.  She was amazing!  Click here to find Bradley childbirth teachers in your area.

Enjoying Every Day

We are expecting our second child this November and are so very excited!  Being pregnant the second time around seems much harder than the first, mostly because of the two year old that keeps me hopping.  I have felt so very tired that I have often forgotten how precious this time is with her, our last few months as just us.  Having the new baby brother or sister will be so wonderful, but it will be a change and I don't want to miss out on the special time that is now.  I want to shower my daughter with love and make the most of her time as an only child.  I came across the lyrics to this song by Malvina Reynolds and I cried.  It was really a wake up call for me to not let one day go by without appreciating how precious life is, to not wish for an easier day but to fully appreciate the one I am in.  Hope it inspires you too!

"I wish you were here to get underfoot,

I wish you were here to get in my way,

To call me from work, to call me to play,

I wish you were here again.

Oh what did I do that had to be done,

And what did I read that had to be read,

When I might have turned to watch you instead,

I wish you were here again."

Quality Apps for Kids

Don't get me wrong, I would not advocate the use of any electronic entertainment for preschoolers on a daily basis or for long stretches of time.  Children should be nurtured and cared for by real adults with real conversations and real world experiences.  I used to be very anti- video, dvd, and battery operated toy, but found that sometimes these forms of entertainment make life much easier.  I think they preserve our sanity as parents and when used minimally do no harm to our children.  I remember very well those days when a DVD meant I was able to get a shower without hearing my child screaming the whole time.  My pre baby ideals sorta went out the window at that point.

With that being said, I want to share with you these adorable preschool applications for Iphones and Ipods.  My 2 year old (23 months actually) LOVES my Ipod Touch and can turn it on, unlock the screen, scroll through a few pages of aps to her page.  Then she bounces back and forth between a few of her favorites (Jingle Bells, an animal spelling game, tic tac toe, doodle aps, etc).  Today I was trying to find one she had enjoyed playing on my sister's phone when I came across these adorable aps from Tickle Tap Aps.  We purchased Sound Shaker first and I knew we had found something special!  Then I picked up Field Flier because the little bird was such a hit, and since I want her to get a better grasp of numbers I got Count Caddy as well.  The graphics are so much cuter than anything else I have seen and the games are more creative.  These aps were $1.99 each but I think they are worth that.  Just make sure your kiddos enjoy them responsibly :)  Now if only Apple made something to keep toddlers out of the other applications (calendar, contacts, etc) when they exit their games!

The Big Picture

I came across this quote from Kittie Franz recently.  After a few days home alone with a teething, fussy toddler this is a good reminder for me!

"Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being." 

How true that is!  When you step back and look at the big picture, all the stresses and frustrations are nothing compared to how amazing it is to be able to pour love into that little person.  What a high calling mothering is.  Isn't it amazing that God trusts us with such precious gifts!