Feeling like I am spinning my wheels.
This has been me lately.
A four year old with an attitude who has decided that sleeping at night is not really that fun. An 18 month old who likes to nurse a few times at night, often clamping down when she is finished. A house that really needs a deep clean. Noisy kids that don't allow me to get a word in with my husband. Another meal needing to be planned, prepared or cleaned up after. You get the idea.
Things could be so much harder, I know. But without a real break or real night of sleep in months (18 possibly) I have felt like my patience is wearing thin, my fuse is getting short and my joy is faded.
Then my hope was restored.
Today I was listening to a service from an awesome church in LA, Expression 58. Shawn Bolz, the pastor, was sharing a testimony about a business person who gave the management of her business over to the Holy Spirit. Immediately I realized that is what I had to do. I know that God alone holds the wisdom I need for every decision I make in life- parenting, household managing and being a wife, friend, and daughter. So right then I prayed and asked Him to have my life fully and to give me the wisdom I need for my children, my home and my marriage.
What freedom I immediately felt! Hope and joy returned because I am confident that God is able and willing to help me in all things. Tonight as I was bathing that sleepy 4 year old it was like time stood still as I looked into her eyes and realized I had the perfect opportunity to pray over her as I shampooed and conditioned her hair. Instead of feeling resentful at how fussy she has been lately I saw my unique position in her life as her mom to be able to speak a blessing over her and call forth the good things that God destined her for.
It was powerful and I know it was His leading me. I am confident that if I look to Him and listen for Him, His grace will take me to new places of breakthrough in all that concerns me.
If you are feeling run down, overwhelmed and frustrated I encourage you to do this too. Give the Holy Spirit your parenting, your home managing, your marriage, your career. Ask Him to show you how to do things and to impart His perfect wisdom for your situation. You will be amazed at how much He cares!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)
Until recently I always thought about verse 30 pertaining to oxen and didn't really get it. I heard someone say it is like a person who is carrying two water jugs with a yolk or beam across their shoulders that balances the weights. By dispersing the load it is easier to carry more weight. His yolk is easy and His burden light; He makes it easier for us and lightens our load. He promises that if we will come to Him with our burden He will give us rest! Thank you Jesus for your rest and for lightening my load!